Gurman declared “Apple CEO Tim Cook isn’t retiring imminently”, which spoiled the tidy narrative that the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple had already begun the coronation process for hardware boss John Ternus. The FT had confidently muttered that Cook’s heir would be unveiled before the June developer knees-up, although it would keep shtum until after the January 2026 earnings call.

Instead, Gurman reckons Cook is staying put at least through the current US presidency, which drags him to 2028 when he will be nudging seventy and cementing his status as Job’s Mob’s longest-serving chief. Gurman still thinks Ternus is the logical successor, although logic rarely enters into these Cupertino soap operas.

While Cook hangs on, the company is watching its talent stream drain away fast. It is not just the hyped AI gold rush. The core iPhone design team seems to be packing its bags for Jony Ive’s outfit, which OpenAI snapped up for its so-called iPhone killer, which is apparently pocket-sized and screenless for reasons that pass understanding.

Gurman claimed OpenAI has hoovered up around 40 engineers from Job’s Mob in the past month. That haul includes manufacturing design bod Matt Theobald and human interface lead Cyrus Daniel Irani, who clearly fancied more excitement than polishing another slab of aluminium.

To add to Cook’s headache, Abidur Chowdhury, designer of the iPhone Air and one of the few rising stars left in the building, has quit for an unnamed AI startup. Apple insists the ship is steady, although the bodies paddling for the lifeboats while Celine Dion cranks up for the theme song seem to have other ideas.