Tame Apple Press tries to spin ‘nothing to see here’ into AI genius

WWDC 2025 is around the corner, but the only thing the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple seems ready to unleash is a desperate off the books PR campaign to lower expectations while pretending it still knows what it's doing.

iPhones made outside US could get slapped with a massive tax

President Donald Trump is kicking off another round of his trade war antics, and this time the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is in the firing line. On 23 May 2025, Trump warned Apple boss Tim Cook that unless iPhones are made in the US, they’ll be hit with a 25 per cent tariff.

Apple's iPhone supply chain shifts further from China to Chennai

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is moving more of its iPhone supply chain into India, with its long-time partner Foxconn dropping $1.5 billion on a new display module plant near Chennai. 

Beijing data woes and Alibaba tie-up give Washington conniptions

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple might want to shove Apple Intelligence into every iPhone it sells, but doing that in China could turn into a diplomatic landmine.

Cook does not want to blame tariffs

The Fruity Cargo Cult, Apple is plotting price hikes for its autumn iPhone 17 lineup while pretending tariffs have nothing to do with it.

Will be replaced by tech that Apple can’t do

Fruity Cargo Cult Apple's senior vice president of services, Eddy Cue, warned that the iPhone could be obsolete in a decade and will be replaced by something that Jobs’ Mob is light years behind its competition.

Tim Cook reckons the “personal Siri” only half-baked

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple’s much-hyped “Apple Intelligence” revamp of Siri is struggling to remember its lines, with company boss Tim Cook telling the cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street that it is still nowhere near ready for showtime.

Tariffs push Job’s Mob to double down on Indian production

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is scrambling to shift all US-bound iPhone assembly to India by 2026, as US tariff tantrums make China too hot to handle.

UBS and Gartner slash forecasts

Beancounters at UBS and Gartner have added up some numbers and divided by their shoe size and reduced their PC and smartphone market forecasts, citing “mounting pressures from trade tariffs and broader macroeconomic uncertainties” that will hammer consumer demand through 2026.

You can't say something is intelligent when it isn't 

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has quietly walked back its “available now” claim about its Apple Intelligence features after the National Advertising Division gave it a sharp nudge for being a bit too enthusiastic with the truth.