2018 Intel holdout and ageing smartphone is now vintage 

The fruity cargo cult Apple has pushed two more products onto its growing list of near-dead gear with the iPhone 6s and the 2018 Mac mini, both now stamped as “vintage.”

Begins looking at your emails

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is pivoting toward customer data to sharpen its AI, a quiet admission that its current approach is not working.

 
Chinese brands blitz old guard

By late 2027 or early 2028, the planet will have more smartphones than people, and the industry's old titans are watching the tide turn.

Tariff panic sends iPhone punters scrambling

The cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street barely had time to flinch before punters started storming Job’s Mob’s stores, fearing price spikes after Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s latest tariff tantrum.

White House blames Apple

The White House points fingers at the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple's iPhone for the recent Signalgate debacle. Atlantic editor Jeffrey Goldberg was mistakenly added to a sensitive Signal group chat.

Silicon Valley in melt down

Big Tech just got a bloody nose thanks to Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s latest trade war tantrum.

iOS 18.4 "feature" shoves Chinese games onto iPhones without asking

Some iPhone users updating to iOS 18.4 are getting more than they bargained for—namely, surprise apps appearing on their Home Screens, including dubious-looking games like Cooking Mama and Squid Game knockoffs.

Looks the bromance is off

Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump has slammed a monster 46 per cent tariff on regions key to the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple’s global production chain, driving up the price of iPhones, Macs, and just about everything else shiny and expensive.

Voice assistant flounders while rivals sprint into the future

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple’s 13-year-old digital dunce Siri is proving more useless than ever, infuriating users while other tech firms surge ahead with bleeding-edge AI chatbots.

Watchdog says App Tracking Transparency wasn’t as innocent as it looked

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple’s much-hyped App Tracking Transparency feature has earned it a €150 million slap on the wrist from France’s antitrust bloodhounds, who say it used privacy as a smokescreen to stiff the competition.