Putin tried to steal Apple users' data
All your Coldplay collections are belong to glorious Russian republic
The Tame Apple Press is furious after Russia’s biggest internet services provider appears to have conducted a special operation to re-routed traffic made by Apple users through its own servers.
Better off with a slide rule
The M2 MacBook Air is shipping in two favours, expensive and very expensive, and Apple fanzine Macworld has cautiously admitted that the lower price version is probably not worth buying.
Free at last, thank god I am free at last
Intel gear which controls the USB and Thunderbolt ports has been removed from the M2 MacBook Air.
Netflix works a way around Apple's tax
Expect a visit from the boys
Media streaming outfit Netflix has earned the wrath of the Tame Apple Press by working a way around paying a huge amount to the fruity cargo cult Apple for doing very little.
Apple’s iOS is holy
Comes with more holes than swiss cheese
The Tame Apple Press is scratching its head to come up with a reason why its favourite software maker’s latest operating system iOS is so borked that the company has had to release an update a couple of months before it is going to unveil iOS 16.
Apple claims it is a force in the health industry
We invented cures for everything
Fruity cargo cult Apple seems to believe that it is a major force in the health industry. Despite not having a single health product in any hospital, the outfit published a nearly 60-page report utlining all its health features and partnerships with medical institutions.
Apple cult being banned for stealing technology
Colombia first to bite
Fruity cargo cult Apple is starting to see sales bans due to a 5G patent infringement dispute between it and Ericsson.
Apple caught out on slow SSD speeds
But claims they are fast anyway due to magic CPU
Fruity cargo-cult might have been a little creative when it came to the benchmark speeds for its latest shiney toys and when questioned about it is claiming that the M2 chip covers all sins.
Jony Ive gives up on Apple
And they are not replacing him
The Tame Apple Press is waking up to its worst nightmare this morning – Apparently, Apple’s inventor of the rounded rectangle has given up on the outfit.
Apple fanboy jailed over iPad
Apparently, sex pests can’t own them without telling the authorities
A sex pest was jailed for a year after ignoring a court order which prevented him from using a shiny iPad unless he told coppers first.