Apple in a jam

Apple is facing a massive lawsuit from the US Justice Department over its dirty tricks to keep the iPhone on top.

Can’t complain, must not grumble

The Tame Apple Press are terrified as arch-enemy Microsoft overtakes its favourite company as the world’s most valuable.

Only other types of turkey

The US government has banned imports and sales of Apple Watches that use a technology that rips off a medical company, after President Joe Biden's refused to step and help Jobs' Mob out.

We must do something catch up

Desperate to recover the ground lost by dropping the ball on AI, Apple claims that it has a secret plan to make iPhones smart by allowing them to chat like a real person.

Foldable tablets vapourware talked about 

The Tame Apple Press has been waxing large about how Apple will bring advanced OLED screens to iPads and MacBooks and is considering introducing foldable tablets.

Safety reasons -- Apple users are idiots

General Motors has cited safety as the reason it decided to phase out Apple CarPlay and Android Auto and move to built-in infotainment systems developed with Google.

More Macs and iPads expected

Fruity cargo cult Apple plans to rescue its falling sales figures by releasing several new models and upgrades for early next year.

Please give me all your money

After losing key advertisers like Apple, IBM and Disney with his superior management skills, Elon [look at me] Musk is trying to interest small to medium-sized businesses to advertise in his social notworking business X.

Allows too much data to be shared

US coppers are warning iPhone users to be cautious following a new update which comes with a default setting which allows stalkers and pedophiles to uplift all a phone's data.

No one wants the new iPhone

The fruity cargo cult Apple is having a bad time in China as punters no longer want an expensive slice of the American dream.