News - subcat

Apple cannibalises watch with its mighty ring
Published in Mobiles
Tuesday, 13 December 2022 10:35

Apple cannibalises watch with its mighty ring


One ring to rule them

Fruity cargo cult Apple has worked out a way to make its watch redundant as a health app by replacing it with a censor ring that relays the data to the iPhone.

SWAT team looking for a stolen iPhone swoops in on retired postal worker
Published in News


Faith in Apple tech wasted cash and risked lives

A Denver detective lead a SWAT team into a retired woman's home to rescue what he believed was a stolen iPhone 11.

Brazil pulls iPhones from store
Published in News
Friday, 25 November 2022 12:01

Brazil pulls iPhones from store


Yes Apple, the law does apply to you

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple was shocked after the Brazilian government enforced a law it democratically voted on and pulled its iPhone’s from stores across the land.

Apple staff revolting over Orwellian advertising moves
Published in News


Ruins the “premium experience”

Staff at the fruity cargo-cult Apple are hacked off at their management’s move to fill the iPhone with advertising.

Apple claims its iPhones in short supply
Published in Mobiles
Monday, 07 November 2022 11:29

Apple claims its iPhones in short supply


Blames the Chinese Covid lockdowns

Fruity cargo cult Apple is insisting that its new iPhones are in short supply, despite cutting back on production because no one was interested in them.

Apple will agree to EU demands to upgrade its iPhone chargers
Published in Mobiles


It has no choice

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has admitted that it has “no choice” but to upgrade the charging ports on its upcoming iPhones to follow an EU directive.

Apple slashes iPhone production further
Published in Mobiles
Friday, 21 October 2022 10:34

Apple slashes iPhone production further


Cash cow really stuck

Apple has slowed production of its flaghip iPhone 14 Plus 'by 40 percent' just two weeks after the September launch because consumers are not touching them with a barge pole.

Apple in trouble as new iPhones fail to attract interest
Published in Mobiles


Shares tumble as cash cow stuck

Apple fanboys are ignoring Jobs’ Mob’s latest iPhone offerings in droves leading shareholders to see darker days ahead for Apple.

Apple's new expensive iPhone's have a battery problem
Published in Mobiles


Why can't Apple get the batteries right?

The Tame Apple Press is having to admit that its favourite company's iPhone 14 Pro and iPhone 14 Pro Max is a lemon... or at least is better off powered by one.

Apple admits camera on expensive iPhones has rubbish software
Published in Mobiles


Will be providing a rubber band and software which does work next week

Fruity cargo-cult Apple is having some serious headaches with the software in its iPhone 14 Pro and iPhone 14 Pro Max and has admitted that it will have to fix it before the camera will work properly.