AI cracks jokes as Microsoft marks half a century

The Software King of the World Microsoft celebrated its 50th birthday by wheeling out all three of its CEOs for a bit of self-inflicted ridicule—with help from its AI lapdog, Copilot.

Early insiders reflect on the messy genius behind Vole

The Software King of the World has officially hit the big five-oh, and the Seattle Times kicked off its retrospective with a perfect line: “Microsoft built things. It broke things.”

Kicking Pat exited too soon

Software King of the Known World, Sir William Gates III said that Chipzilla has lost its way and Pat [kicking] Gelsinger was brave and right.

Co-invented BASIC

Thomas Eugene Kurtz, the American mathematician and computer scientist who co-invented the BASIC programming language and the Dartmouth Timesharing System, has died. He was 96.

Melinda Gates points out what many Windows users already knew

The former wife of software king of the world, Sir William Gates III has admitted that it ended when she realised she could not trust his terms and conditions anymore.

Heliogen generates 1,000 degrees Celsius heat

Minions belonging to Software King of the World, Microsoft's Sir William Gates III, have discovered a way to use artificial intelligence and a field of mirrors to reflect so much sunlight that it generates extreme heat above 1,000 degrees Celsius.

Gates claims he was distracted

Software King of the World Sir William Gates III has suggested that Windows could have been the world’s dominant mobile operating system had it not been for the antitrust case the US Justice Department brought against Microsoft.

Better to regulate

Software King of the World Microsoft co-founder Sir William Gates III said governments should not waste time trying to break up Big Tech companies as that is unlikely to stop them.

Trump can't tell two different sexual diseases apart but knew a lot about Gates' daughter

Software King of the World Sir William Gates III has angered Donald (Prince of Orange) Trump's cheerleaders by pointing out that the president has a problem when it comes to spotting his sexually transmitted diseases but knew rather a lot about Gate's daughter Jennifer.

And in a decade no one will remember Steve whatsit's name

After the death of Steve Jobs we made that shocking observation that Steve Jobs would be forgotten by history while Bill Gates would be remembered and probably have statues dedicated to him. According to the annual YouGov survey our prediction is on track.