Apple plans to shove more RAM onto its new iPhone
This one goes to XI
The fruity cargo cult Apple appears to have hired Nigel Tuffinel from Spinal Tap and decided that the next iPhone XI should go to 11 when it comes to RAM.
Apple tries to fix its maps
But..but.. that means they were not perfect after all
Fruity cargo cult Apple has deployed a fleet of vans to fix its maps, meaning we could soon see a lot of Apple vans in lakes, living rooms, and airport runways
Apple and Samsung bury the hatchet
Ended the war of the rounded rectangle has
Apple's thermonuclear war against Samsung for daring to oppose it in the smartphone market – the thermonuclear war over who owned the rounded rectangle – is finally over.
Apple to close all ports
Because getting rid of the headphone jack was so popular
Apple thinks that giving its users less for the same or more money is a winning strategy. Getting rid of the headphone jack meant that users had to spend cash on expensive wireless earbuds and now it wants to kill off all ports.
iPhone users left out of Europe scheme
Use Android, UK government says
A scheme to allow European Union citizens who want to stay in the UK after the country leaves next year will exclude people who use iPhones from registering.
Apple software geniuses strike again
Latest update is borked
Apple's latest iOS update is so borked that the fruity cargo cult is not saying anything about it
Apple fined for bricking old iPhones down under
Fine is probably not going to hurt
Fruity cargo cult Apple has been slapped rigorously about the chops with a wet bus ticket by an Aussie court which decided that it was wrong to brick iPhones which had been fixed at non-authorised repairers.
Trump assures Apple it is safe from tariffs
Consumer electronics not covered
President Donald Trump told Apple Chief Executive Tim Cook that the US government would not levy tariffs on iPhones assembled in China.
Supremes will decide if Apple is a monopolist
Repeat offender
The Supreme Court will review a 2011 class-action lawsuit against Apple, accusing the company of operating an illegal monopoly by not allowing iPhone users to download mobile apps outside of its own App Store and reduce consumer choice.
GrayKey works round Apple's iPhone security improvements
Didn't take long
Yesterday the Tame Apple Press was full of praise that Apple had worked a way around police methods to bypass its security on phones owned by criminals. However, it looks like Jobs' Mob's wizard security has already been bypassed within hours of it being announced.