Because it is just so well made

A Lufthansa Airbus A380 flying from Los Angeles to Munich had to make an unscheduled landing in Boston after a passenger jammed their precious Apple iPad into a business class seat, setting off alarm bells about lithium-ion fires at cruising altitude.

Tame Apple Press holds its breath

Fruity Cargo cult Apple has begun mass-producing its M5 chip for its Mac series and iPad.

Apple told TSMC

Fruity cargo cult Apple chose to cosy up with Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company (TSMC) over Chipzilla for its custom silicon because “Intel didn’t know how to be a foundry.”

Two zero-day holes

The fruity cargo cult, Apple has stunned its user fanbase by admitting that the software it touts as more secure than Microsoft has two zero-day security flaws.

Mostly a spec bump

Apple, the fruity cargo cult, has just released a new iPad Mini with a faster A17 Pro chip that it claims supports Apple Intelligence.

More Macs and iPads expected

Fruity cargo cult Apple plans to rescue its falling sales figures by releasing several new models and upgrades for early next year.

Ironically late

Fruity cargo cult Apple has introduced Apple Pay Later scheme in the US, later than Jobs' Mob thought it would be.

What was Jobs thinking of?

Ex-Apple executive and longtime Apple commentator Jean-Louis Gassee has suddenly woken up and realised that the iPad had no use and is dying off.

Will need to be charged seperately

In a move to show how bleeding edge it is, the fruity cargo cult is reverting back to its first generation Apple Pencil for the new 10th-generation iPad.

Attackers could have complete control of your Coldplay and U2 collection

Fruity cargo cult Apple has admitted that its faultless, super-cool, operating system which rules across all its devices has a feature that allows a naughty person to take control of the machine.