Beancounters at IDC have been adding up some numbers and divided by their shoe size and confirmed the slump, noting Job’s Mob was the only major phone pusher to post a decline in the People’s Republic. It’s now languishing in fifth place in the market, having shifted a paltry 9.8 million units. That’s good for just 13.7 per cent market share, down from 17.4 per cent in the last quarter. 

This marks the seventh consecutive quarter of sliding shipments. Another bad quarter and it will have managed a full two-year nosedive.

While Job’s Mob trips over its own dongles, Xiaomi is moonwalking past them with a 40 per cent surge to 13.3 million units. Overall, the Chinese market was up 3.3 per cent, so clearly it’s not the market—it’s just Apple.

IDC analyst Will Wong said, “Apple’s high-end pricing has limited its ability to benefit from government subsidies introduced in January.” These state handouts hand back 15 per cent to anyone buying phones or gadgets priced under 6,000 yuan (~€765), which is basically anything but an iPhone.

And the rot isn't just local. The iPhone's fate in the US was hanging by a tariff thread after President Trump slapped  import duties on Chinese gear. But Apple CEO Tim Cook worked the back channels hard, reportedly whispering sweet nothings to Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick and others.

His efforts weren’t in vain. Despite pushback from White House hawks, the Trump camp granted exemptions for certain Chinese-made electronics, giving Apple, HP, and even the Grey Box Shifter Dell a breather.

That move probably saved Apple from having to sell iPhones at Rolls-Royce prices—IDC reckoned top models could’ve topped $2,000 without the carve-outs.

Still, if Cupertino can't get its act together in China, not even friendly tariffs in the US will keep it from sliding off the pedestal.