Anubis protects Xe Iaso's Git repository 

Software developer Xe Iaso has had enough of playing digital whack-a-mole with Amazon’s AI scrapers.

Dragging HP and Dell along for the ride

Nvidia has taken a break from selling overpriced GPUs to crypto bros and decided to plonk two AI supercomputers on your desk — assuming your desk is reinforced with steel, and you have a ton of cash.

Cybersecurity plays catch-up

Cloud Engineers are the new AI overlords, leaving everyone else to squabble over second place, according to a new report.

However, not many are buying it

Oracle is doing its best impression of a brick wall after a hacker going by “rose87168” claimed to have waltzed through their cloud infrastructure and walked off with six million records.

Tariffs aren’t a tech bro’s best friend

Chipmakers had a rare moment of joy this week after reports suggested that Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump might not slap the semiconductor industry with another round of wallet-crushing tariffs on 2 April.

Still living on a prayer

Once tasked with rescuing Troubled Chipzilla from its decade-long spiral into mediocrity, Pat [kicking] Gelsinger has now found his true calling.

US’s army of CEOs is not that useful

China’s army of engineers may be poised to give the US a costly wedgie in the tech arena.

Empire passes to Jun Young-hyun

Samsung’s co-CEO Han Jong-hee has died after suffering a heart attack, leaving the company’s struggling tech empire to Jun Young-hyun, who was only recently handed the reins of the semiconductor industry last week.

Management software triumphs over slimming injections and insulin

The maker of expensive management software, whose functionality is largely unknown, SAP, is officially Europe’s most valuable company.

No one noticed

Jeffrey Goldberg, editor-in-chief of The Atlantic, found himself added to a Signal group chat where Donald [Hamburger-Eating Surrender Monkey] Trump’s defence team planned to hammer the Houthi.