Bezos puts a rocket up SpaceX

After years of puff and prep, Jeff Bezos’s Project Kuiper is lobbing its first 27 satellites into orbit in a $10 billion (£7.8 billion) swing at Starlink, the Elon [Roman Salute] Musk-powered behemoth that lords over the skies.

Saving Europe from Starlink

Constellation Technologies & Operations (CTO) and telecom infrastructure firm TDF have signed a Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) to integrate Very Low Earth Orbit (VLEO) satellites into terrestrial networks.

Exiting commerce official whistleblows

A departing Commerce Department official dropped a scathing farewell email accusing Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s administration of lining Elon [Roman salute] Musk’s already bulging pockets with taxpayer cash.

Claims to have the fate of Ukraine in his paws

Elon [roman salute] Musk has turned a geopolitical crisis into his ego trip by clashing with Poland’s Foreign Minister Radoslaw Sikorski over Starlink’s role in Ukraine’s defence. 

$10 billion to $20 billion

Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s administration is giving the boot to fibre internet preferences in the $42.45 billion Broadband Equity, Access, and Deployment (BEAD) programme, a move that will conveniently funnel more cash into Elon [Roman salute] Musk’s Starlink.

Musk feels a closeness with Italy

Elon [Roman salute] Musk's Starlink is battling for access to key E-band frequencies in Italy as the space-based internet giant seeks to cement its dominance across Europe.

We are coming for you

The hacker collective Anonymous issued a stern warning to Elon [Roman Salute] Musk, accusing the chainsaw-weilding, bouncing Leatherface of manipulating cryptocurrency markets and disregarding the welfare of average investors.

Shoots across his bows before surrendering

Swastica maker Elon [look at me] Musk might find his businesses suffer more as he becomes closely identified with Donald [grab ‘em by the pussy] Trump’s trade policies.

Snub to Italian-European system on table after meeting with Trump

Italy's far right government is in advanced talks with Elon [look at me] Musk's SpaceX for a deal to provide secure telecommunications for the nation's government.

Asked to go against US foreign policy

For the last two years Elon [look at me] Musk has regularly talked with that very nice Vladimir Putin and come under pressure to disobey US foreign policy.