The Irish outfit revealed its Bell-1 system which is a six-qubit contraption weighing just over 200 kilograms that slots neatly into a standard GPU server rack. Unlike most quantum rigs that look like props from a bad sci-fi film, this one’s as tidy as a regular server and doesn’t need a dedicated chamber cooled by the frozen blood of demons and unicorn tears.

It hums away at a numbing 0.3 kelvin, thanks to its built-in cryogenic unit, which is all the more impressive considering it plugs into a standard mains socket.

While most of the quantum crowd are still faffing about with bulky superconducting or ion-trap qubits, Equal1’s gone for silicon-based spin qubits. They’re smaller, scalable and can be churned out using the same gear as conventional chips, meaning you can pack more quantum cats, both dead and alive, into one box.

Its UnityQ chip fuses quantum processing units, Arm CPUs and neural processors onto a single slice of silicon. That sidesteps the headache of getting classical and quantum components to synchronise like a badly rehearsed choir.

The chip already includes error correction, control, and readout, meaning less faffing about with external gear and more time running computations that might collapse your cat’s waveform.

“Plug it in and it's ready to work,” Equal1's reps said, as if quantum computing were no more exotic than a microwave.

It’s only got six qubits for now, but the architecture is built to scale. Early buyers won’t need to bin their kit when more powerful models land—they can just swap the chip and keep their feline-themed quantum fantasies going.

Equal1’s December 2024 research showed off the world’s highest single- and two-qubit gate fidelity and speed, aided by an AI-powered error correction system whipped up with help from Arm.

The cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street haven’t leapt aboard yet, but if Equal1 keeps this up, quantum cats everywhere might finally have a home they can simultaneously die and thrive in.