Europeans have had enough of Musk

Tesla has hit another bump in the road in Europe, clocking up its seventh straight month of shrinking car sales while Chinese upstart BYD floored it.

AI darling’s data centre growth slows as H20 blacklisting bites

Nvidia has blown past earnings expectations again, but that wasn’t enough to satisfy the cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street.

Rivals left bleeding red ink in AI factory economics

Number crunchers at Morgan Stanley have been adding up some numbers and divided by their shoe size and reached the conclusion that Nvidia’s monster GB200 NVL72 racks are the only kit worth buying if you want to turn an AI factory into a cash cow.

Chipmaker wants fatter memory bus

The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell on earth yarn that AMD is planning to beef up its Radeon RX 9070 GRE with more memory after punters grumbled about the 12GB launch earlier this year.

Cook still doesn’t fancy doing anything bold or expensive

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple’s services overlord Eddy Cue is apparently desperate to blow some cash on big-name AI firms, though his past ideas, like snapping up Netflix and Tesla, were promptly exterminated by supreme dalek Tim Cook.

Eucalyptus offsets and marketing waffle don’t cut it in Berlin

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has been told to stop flogging its Watches as "carbon neutral" in Germany after a court decided the claim was a load of old cobblers.

ChatGPT blamed as pandemic-era boom crashes into AI reality

Canada’s once-blistering tech job market has faceplanted, with listings now 19 per cent below what they were in 2020, and analysts are pointing fingers squarely at AI.

Microsoft standoff stalls SoftBank billions

OpenAI’s attempts to restructure its business have hit the skids as it locks horns with the software King of the World, Microsoft, leaving billions in SoftBank cash hanging in the balance.

Beijing's AI chip pipsqueak rakes in the yuan

Chinese chip upstart Cambricon is laughing all the way to the bank after netting a record profit on the back of Beijing's vendetta against Nvidia.

US government stake could be a poisoned chalice

Troubled Chipzilla has admitted that the US government’s shiny new 9.9 per cent stake in the firm might be more of a liability than a lifeline.