Biden refuses to pardon Apple Watch
Only other types of turkey
The US government has banned imports and sales of Apple Watches that use a technology that rips off a medical company, after President Joe Biden's refused to step and help Jobs' Mob out.
Apple wants iPhones to talk like humans
We must do something catch up
Desperate to recover the ground lost by dropping the ball on AI, Apple claims that it has a secret plan to make iPhones smart by allowing them to chat like a real person.
Apple will bring its OLED screens to iPads and MacBooks
Foldable tablets vapourware talked about
The Tame Apple Press has been waxing large about how Apple will bring advanced OLED screens to iPads and MacBooks and is considering introducing foldable tablets.
General Motors explains why it ditched Apple Carplay
Safety reasons -- Apple users are idiots
General Motors has cited safety as the reason it decided to phase out Apple CarPlay and Android Auto and move to built-in infotainment systems developed with Google.
Apple tries to save sales by bringing out new models
More Macs and iPads expected
Fruity cargo cult Apple plans to rescue its falling sales figures by releasing several new models and upgrades for early next year.
Musk pins hopes on SMEs
Please give me all your money
After losing key advertisers like Apple, IBM and Disney with his superior management skills, Elon [look at me] Musk is trying to interest small to medium-sized businesses to advertise in his social notworking business X.
Police warn fanboys about new iPhone "feature"
Allows too much data to be shared
US coppers are warning iPhone users to be cautious following a new update which comes with a default setting which allows stalkers and pedophiles to uplift all a phone's data.
Apple kneed in the Middle Kingdom
No one wants the new iPhone
The fruity cargo cult Apple is having a bad time in China as punters no longer want an expensive slice of the American dream.
Tim Cook thinks people use smartphones too much
They wear out you know
Popular beat combo singer Dua Lipa had a “revealing” interview with Apple CEO Tim Cook in which he revealed that he thought that people were using their smartphones too much.
Apple begins production of OLED panels
Ready for the new iPad Pro
The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell on earth yarn which claims that the fruity cargo cult Apple is ready to begin production of OLED displays for its next-gen iPad Pro in February 2024.