Apple iPhones keep calling the emergency services
Help my owner is an idiot
The programming geniuses at Apple have installed another feature in iPhones which means that they randomly call the emergency services when they are being serviced.
Apple owes Ireland 13 billion euro
Pretty much what the EU has been saying all along
The Irish government's tax man was asked by the government what he thought Apple owed the country over its dodgy tax arrangement and he agreed with the EU.
We have reached peak smartphone numbers
Apple doomed unless it can come up with something else
IDC beancounters have added up some numbers and worked out that we have reached "peak smartphone" which means that unless Apple can come up with a new cash cow, it is doomed to maintain or lose its stonking sales figures.
Apple purges Christian holiday from iPhone
Thou shalt not have any gods before Steve Jobs
The fruity cargo cult Apple has taken its first stand against rival religions by banning fanboys from celebrating the most significant holiday on the Christian calendar.
Apple feature crashes phone with a single button
Comedy programming strikes again
The fruity cargo cult Apple’s comedy programming team have come up with a super, cool, well designed, bug which crashes your phone, iwatch, iPad or apple television by pressing a single letter.
Homehub is the destroyer of wooden objects
Don't stick it on your desk or anywhere useful
Apple's overpriced, overhyped speakers have a feature that Amazon, and Google don't – they destroy anything wooden they are placed on.
Gates warns other tech companies of Microsoft style arrogance
Don't do what we did
Bill Gates warned other tech giants that they risk the kind of nightmarish government intervention that once plagued Microsoft if they continue to act arrogantly.
Consumer Reports rubbishes HomePod
Countering the Tame Apple Press
The Tame Apple Press is doing its best to flog Apple's overpriced mono speaker by saying that the sound quality is equal to $1,000 speakers. However, the Consumer Reports magazine is having none of that and is warning punters to ignore the hype.
Apple wants the police to protect it from the French
Arrest those who insist we pay tax
Apple has asked the French courts to protect it from those who insist that the company pay its tax bill.
Apple shocks fans with HomeHub's gouging
Repair bill not cool for cats
Apple fanboys who think it is essential to buy its HomeHub not-so-smart speaker for three times the cost of more intelligent models from its rivals are being shocked to discover that Jobs’ Mob is gouging them for more cash to cover "repairs".