Why can't Apple get the batteries right?

The Tame Apple Press is having to admit that its favourite company's iPhone 14 Pro and iPhone 14 Pro Max is a lemon... or at least is better off powered by one.

Microsoft, Google, and Apple using their browsers to shut down browser rivals 

Big Cheeses at the Mozzarella Foundation are hacked off that Microsoft, Google, and Apple are using their operating systems to steer users to their browsers and stacking the deck against rivals.

Installment plan to help more people into debt does not work

Fruity cargo cult Apple's moves into the financial sector are working out about as well as you expect and its flagship "Apple Pay Later" has been ironically delayed until next year. 

It is not as if users will notice

The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell-on-earth yarn claiming that Apple is going to stick to its truly out-of-date refresh rates on its base iPhone’s until next year.

It is supposed to represent developers

The ability of the App Association [ACT] to represent developers has been called into question after it was discovered that the vast amount of its funding comes from the fruity cargo cult Apple.

Will be providing a rubber band and software which does work next week

Fruity cargo-cult Apple is having some serious headaches with the software in its iPhone 14 Pro and iPhone 14 Pro Max and has admitted that it will have to fix it before the camera will work properly.

Next generation Android cleans Apple's clock 

Following the disappointing Phone 14 Pro and the iPhone 14 Pro Max launches the Tame Apple Press are having to recognise that the next generation of Android will out perform Apple.

Unfair to other boardgames, and might require some diplomacy 

Indonesia's competition regulator, the succinctly titled Komisi Pengawas Persaingan Usaha (KPPU) has alleged that Google has violated local anti-monopoly laws.

Apparently offering less for more is no longer an effective price strategy 

Pre-orders for the iPhone 14 Plus have dropped showing its cunning plan of offering base models in standard and larger 'plus' sizes, as opposed to last year's 'mini' - is a failure.

Dorset Echo goes a little bonkers

The fruity cargo cult Apple has been able to get away with murder over the years thanks to its religiously inspired fanboys. Now it seems Apple has felt the need to test their faith by releasing an iPhone is dangerous – at least according to the Dorset Echo.