
Tesla tanks in Europe
Europeans have had enough of Musk
Tesla has hit another bump in the road in Europe, clocking up its seventh straight month of shrinking car sales while Chinese upstart BYD floored it.

AI darling’s data centre growth slows as H20 blacklisting bites
Nvidia has blown past earnings expectations again, but that wasn’t enough to satisfy the cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street.

Morgan Stanley reckons Nvidia’s GB200 racks mint money
Rivals left bleeding red ink in AI factory economics
Number crunchers at Morgan Stanley have been adding up some numbers and divided by their shoe size and reached the conclusion that Nvidia’s monster GB200 NVL72 racks are the only kit worth buying if you want to turn an AI factory into a cash cow.

AMD tipped to bump Radeon RX 9070 GRE up to 16GB
Chipmaker wants fatter memory bus
The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell on earth yarn that AMD is planning to beef up its Radeon RX 9070 GRE with more memory after punters grumbled about the 12GB launch earlier this year.

Cue pushes Apple to splash cash on AI startups
Cook still doesn’t fancy doing anything bold or expensive
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple’s services overlord Eddy Cue is apparently desperate to blow some cash on big-name AI firms, though his past ideas, like snapping up Netflix and Tesla, were promptly exterminated by supreme dalek Tim Cook.