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Trump’s minions outwitted by Signal group chat—again 

by on27 March 2025


Top advisors leak details, shirtless selfies, and possibly national security 

Not content with accidentally roping in The Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg for a ringside view of military plans, President [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s minions have managed to leak their phone numbers, emails, and Signal handles of key security personnel—including a topless Secretary of Defense.

The leak, exposed by German outlet Der Spiegel, includes contact info for National Security Adviser Mike Waltz, Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, and Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth.

The embarrassment stems from an already ludicrous Signal scandal, in which Goldberg was mistakenly added to a chat discussing strikes against Houthi rebels. Hegseth’s account was the gift that kept on giving, with one recently deleted WhatsApp number still leading to a profile pic featuring the man himself, hat on, shirt off, and dignity missing.

InfoSec expert Donald Ortmann, who still seems surprised by this clown show, noted that this kind of data is hacker catnip—useful for phishing, impersonation, or just generally torpedoing what little credibility this administration has left. He even warned of deepfake threats because what this chaos needed was a synthetic Hegseth in a Zoom call-making policy.

Senator Andy Kim, clearly stunned that the current Situation Room etiquette includes group texting strike plans, called for Hegseth to resign. The White House insists, against all evidence, that no classified information was exchanged while simultaneously criticising Goldberg and accusing the press of overreach.

Senate Armed Services Committee chair Roger Wicker, not wanting to be left out, is pushing for an inspector general investigation. He thinks the texts were sensitive enough to warrant classification—something the Trump team considered too dull or inconvenient.

Trump has said that the whole scandal "doesn't bother me.” Because, of course, it doesn’t.

Last modified on 27 March 2025
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