
Amazon scrambles skyward to challenge Starlink
Bezos puts a rocket up SpaceX
After years of puff and prep, Jeff Bezos’s Project Kuiper is lobbing its first 27 satellites into orbit in a $10 billion (£7.8 billion) swing at Starlink, the Elon [Roman Salute] Musk-powered behemoth that lords over the skies.

Musk rage-quits livestream after PoE2 trolling meltdown
Private jet gaming stunt ends in humiliation and mockery
Elon [Roman Salute] Musk’s latest attempt to prove he’s an elite gamer went down in flames—live—aboard his private jet, as a brutal wave of online trolling forced him to abruptly pull the plug mid-stream.

Musk minion snoops on child trauma files
DOGE staffer gets eyes on therapy records of vulnerable migrant kids
One of Elon [Roman Salute] Musk’s DOGE foot soldiers has his mitts on a US government database packed with trauma and mental health records of unaccompanied migrant children.

Musk’s ex-hacker now burrowed into US Justice Department
Ex-cheat site operator snuck into DOJ with pirating past
One of Elon [Roman Salute] Musk’s top tech bros is now helping run the US Department of Justice, despite a teenage résumé that reads like a cybercrime rap sheet.

Musk gives DOGE months to replace SSA code
Replace 60 million lines of COBOL--yeah right
Elon [Roman Salute] Musk is trying to modernise America’s Social Security Administration with a crack team of DOGE-linked technologists and a timeframe that makes actual engineers laugh out loud.

Dutch want to purge US software from government servers
Don't trust Musk and Trump
The Dutch want to reduce their dependence on Big US tech companies.

Musk’s Starlink in nepotism row
Exiting commerce official whistleblows
A departing Commerce Department official dropped a scathing farewell email accusing Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s administration of lining Elon [Roman salute] Musk’s already bulging pockets with taxpayer cash.

Musk’s X crashes again
He blames Ukrainians when it was probably Russians
Elon [roman salute] Musk is blaming the Ukrainians for another series of embarrassing outages on his social media plaything, X, formerly known as Twitter.

Musk invades Poland
Claims to have the fate of Ukraine in his paws
Elon [roman salute] Musk has turned a geopolitical crisis into his ego trip by clashing with Poland’s Foreign Minister Radoslaw Sikorski over Starlink’s role in Ukraine’s defence.

Trump gives chum Musk a ton of broadband contracts
$10 billion to $20 billion
Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s administration is giving the boot to fibre internet preferences in the $42.45 billion Broadband Equity, Access, and Deployment (BEAD) programme, a move that will conveniently funnel more cash into Elon [Roman salute] Musk’s Starlink.