Docked staff for the time it took security frisk them

After nearly a decade a California federal judge has finally given the green light to Apple’s $30 million settlement in a lawsuit.

They no longer want to go to the space ship and management is worried

Staff at the fruity cargo cult Apple no longer want to travel long distances to be indoctrinated by middle managers and are starting to make their views heard. 

Buy now and we will add features later 

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has come up with a wizard scheme which will sell iPhones without having to provide any new features.

We need the money 

Cash-strapped Apple is apparently so poor that it has to turn its user interface into a bill board for advertising. 

They make us look bad

The world has been wondering why Telegrams latest version is not appearing on Apple's store and apparently it is because the App contained better emojis.

Telegram CEO Founder dares to complain

Telegram CEO Founder Pavel Valeryevich Durov has apparently realised that the fruity cargo cult Apple is messing with him.

After keeping users in the dark for so long

Fruity cargo cult Apple has finally caved into pressure and bought back the battery percentage gauge on the iOS 16.

Chinese causing trouble over Nancy Pelosi's visit 

Fruity cargo cult Apple has told its Taiwanese suppliers that they must follow draconian Chinese customs regulations after the company had components held up in customs.

Entry-level iPad loses useful tool

Apple's upcoming entry-level iPad is rumored to cut the 3.5mm headphone jack which while being incredibly useful had been purged from Jobs' Mob's line up ages ago.

Patents a method to wireless charge a phone from your PC

After years of trying to get a PC to wirelessly charge a phone from a PC and failing, fruity cargo cult Apple has been beaten to the punch by the grey box shifter Dell.