No recall just denies it is happening

Apple’s iPhone 6 has started catching fire in the Far East, but rather than arranging a recall, like its rival Samsung, Jobs’ Mob is denying that it is happening.

Apple fails miserably, despite cuckoo press stories 

You might not be aware of it, because the Tame Apple Press is going on an offensive, but Apple is losing the wearable’s market to Fitbit.

The experiment did not work

The fruity cargo-cult Apple is rumoured to be having second thoughts about its relationship with Intel and is starting to regret its decision to install Intel modems in half its iPhone 7s.

Did not mention how

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has written to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration claiming that it is still interested in making self-driving cars.

Flogged them for $1.5 million

A Taiwanese Foxconn manager nicked 5,700 iPhones and flogged them for a $1.56 million profit and hugely undercutting Jobs' Mob

Affects latest release iOS 10.1.1

Two researchers from India and Germany have discovered a way to bypass Apple’s iOS activation lock that prevents unauthorized use of the company’s mobile devices when they are marked as lost.

What is next for the cargo-cult?

While it is still earning piles of cash, Apple is stuffed unless Tim Cook comes up with a cunning plan to save it.

Enemy of my enema

Chinese smartphone vendors are so worried that Apple is strong arming AMOLED suppliers to suck supply that they have formed their own consortium to fight it.

Quality that only money can buy

Apple’s expensive new MacBook Pros are shipping with an expensive feature which causes the pricey speakers in the machines to self-destruct.

Software genius

Fruity tax-dodging cargo-cult Apple’s new iOS update shows its software superiority once again after Jobs’ Mob issued the update without testing it properly with its own applications.