Claims to be on it

Members of the Apple fruity cargo cult are incandescent with rage after the alarms on their shiny toys stop working. This means that many of them are sleeping and missing work.  

Has deleted release dates from the CarPlay page

Fruity cargo cult Apple is having trouble getting products out of its flying saucer—this time, its CarPlay "product has been placed on the never-never list.

Bugs and Bureaucracy

Fruity cargo cult  Apple has quietly shelved its much-hyped iPhone subscription service, reportedly due to software glitches and regulatory hurdles.

Takes down VPNs

The fruity cargo cult Apple has been collaborating with Russian strongman Tsar Vlad Putin to keep his people in the dark by censoring VPNs in its App Store.

Encryption and public safety concerns

The FBI has issued an urgent call to iPhone and Android users, urging them to reconsider using popular messaging apps like WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, and Signal.

Misleading Security Claims

Tech blogger John Gruber has slammed Google over its claims that its text-messaging app, Google Messages, ensures "conversations are end-to-end encrypted."

Steals IDs and then picks up their gear

The fruity cargo cult Apple is facing a spate of thefts from someone who is mocking its security at all levels.

If you want to make a bomb from us you have to invest more

Indonesia has given tech giant Apple the cold shoulder, flat-out rejecting a measly $100 million investment proposal aimed at setting up an accessory and component plant.

Jobs’ Mob scrambles to play catch-up

The Tame Apple Press is reporting a rumour that Apple will have a new version of Siri out of the box to match the large language models that its rivals have had for ages—there is just one snag.

Two zero-day holes

The fruity cargo cult, Apple has stunned its user fanbase by admitting that the software it touts as more secure than Microsoft has two zero-day security flaws.