Can’t get the wood

The fruity cargo cult Apple’s overhyped Siri revamp has ground to a halt because of serious technical difficulties, raising doubts about the company’s ability to deliver on its grand promises.

Expect daily fines if it does not pull its socks up

Germany’s antitrust authority has charged the fruity cargo cult Apple with abusing its market dominance through its app tracking tool, which could result in daily fines if the company does not amend its practices.

Three people convicted

Three people have been convicted for being part of a conspiracy to rob and drug people outside of LGBTQ+ nightclubs in Manhattan's Hell's Kitchen neighbourhood, which led to the deaths of two of their victims.

Flogs 730 Million more smartphones in a decade

While the Tame Apple Press might tell you otherwise, the ruler of the smartphone market is Samsung shipping an impressive 3.1 billion devices over the past ten years—730 million more than the fruity cargo cult Apple.

Judges Jefferies says it will all be illegal

The AI app that stormed to the top of the download charts on Apple’s App Store and Google Play, and rocked Nvidia's share value, is now staring down the barrel of a US consumer ban, top analysts at US investment bank Jefferies have warned.

Tame Apple Press holds its breath

Fruity Cargo cult Apple has begun mass-producing its M5 chip for its Mac series and iPad.

Available through third-party app store

Fruity cargo cult Apple and its minions in the Tame Apple Press are telling the EU, “We told you so,” after the first porn app for the iPhone appeared on a third-party website.

Apple and Meta already unhappy about where this is going

The first requirements of the European Union’s AI Act have now come into force, effectively banning artificial intelligence systems deemed "unacceptably risky."

Company “lacks vision.”

Fruity cargo cult Apple has given up on a project to develop advanced augmented reality (AR) glasses because users are not interested, and its development team “lacks vision.”

Overhyped watches were swell and not in a good way

Apple Watch owners who bought into the marketing hype around its first three generations may be entitled to some cash over their poor design.